How to Announce Date Changes or Uninvite Wedding Guests




Change the Dates


When would you need to send these?


Change-the-dates should be sent in order to correct the information you sent either in a save-the-date or in your original invitations. If you never sent out information, even if you talked about it with people, I don’t think you need to send a change-the-date. The goal of a change-the-date is to answer as many questions as possible, without having to talk to each person individually.


The best time to send change-the-dates is as soon as you’ve finalized a venue for your new date. I recommend couples wait until sending out a change-the-date until you’ve finalized your new venue details, so you can give all the new information at once!


How should you send these?


It depends largely on your preferences and how close your old wedding date it currently is. If your old wedding date is within the next month or two, I’d recommend sending an email out, just to clarify what is happening before guests finalize their travel plans. If your old wedding date is further out than that, you should feel free to send a paper change-the-date.


What information should be included?


If your new wedding date is more than 2 months away treat these as a new save-the-date, so the only information you’ll need to include is the new date and the location of the wedding (the town).

If your new wedding date is within 2 months, treat these as new invitations with all updated information on the venue, time, dress code, etc. I’d also recommend sending an RSVP at the same time, making sure to clarify that you need everyone’s RSVP again!


Make sure to include information on how to access your wedding website and let guests know that’s where they can find updated information! Things are constantly changing, so having a central location that is easy to update as changes happen is important!


Cancellation Announcements


When would you need to send these?


You’ll need to send a cancellation announcement if you’ve sent out a save-the-dates or invitations and are canceling your wedding. I’d also recommend sending cancellation announcements if you are having another wedding, but haven’t picked a new date, but your old wedding date is within 2 months.


How should you send these?


I’m a fan of paper because it feels a little more personal, but you could do email.


What information should be included?


Not much! I really recommend keeping it short and sweet. The biggest thing you might want to include is an update on your marriage status. Are you guys already married? Eloping? Delaying wedding to an indeterminate time in the future? Let them know your plans in the vague sense, so they aren’t asking a million questions, but leave out the details. If you aren’t inviting people to your elopement or whatever celebration you are having, don’t tell them where and when it’s happening. The only exception to this rule would be if you already got married and want to give people the full update.


Un-invitations


When would you need to send these?


When your guest list needs to be smaller than initially anticipated, so you have to cut guests.

This is typically due to venue or local requirements, but also could be a personal choice to downsize your wedding.


Who should get these?


Anyone who is no longer invited to your wedding and received either a save-the-date or an invitation. Making that decision of who to cut is difficult, I recommend focusing on the people you want to include rather the who you want to cut!


Also, consider offering an alternative like live-streaming the wedding or hosting a big party next year to reduce the disappointment for those who can no longer attend in person.


How should you send these?


In this case, paper seems more personal, but you could certainly do email, especially if the old wedding date is within the next couple of months. I also think a phone call could be a thoughtful way to let people know that you’ve had to cut them, but maybe impractical for larger weddings.


What information should be included?


First of all, it should be super clear that they are no longer invited to the wedding. Don’t try to sugar coat it by making it vague, it will just create confusion. Give a general reason (due to Coronavirus restrictions), but let them know you will miss them dearly. I’m also a big fan of passing the blame in this case! Put it on the venue, state guidelines, your wedding planner, even if the choice is yours, let your Aunt Carol get mad at someone else. We don’t care.

If you are hosting alternative plans (like live-streaming or a later party, etc.) make sure to include the details here. End with a note of thanks for their understanding and support.


It is nice to include a personal note or a phone call with your apologies, but it may not be feasible if you are uninviting a lot of people. If there are some people that you’re concern about their feeling being hurt or them stirring up drama, a handwritten note can help ease tensions.


Here’s an example of the text of an un-invite:


Unfortunately, due to our venue’s restriction on event size, we will be unable to have you attend our wedding this fall. We are devastated that you will be unable to attend in-person, but we look forward to celebrating with you once it is safe to do so.


Thank you so much for your understanding and your support; it means the world to us.


I hope this was helpful information if you are having to reschedule or change your wedding planning this year. Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help!

© 2020 by Dont Forget the Champagne LLC

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