Wedding Wednesday Q&A #003

Welcome back to the 3rd installment of our wedding planning question and answer series. If you have a question that you'd like to be included in a future post, send us an email at with WW Q&A in the subject line.

How do we decide between one photographer whose style we like more or a photographer with a second shooter who is really good but a little blander? To add to the confusion, although we like the one shooter photographer’s style, most people we’ve shown them to prefer the two shooter photographers' style.

What questions should we have prepared to ask them? Regarding missing things, I’m mostly concerned about getting both the guys and girls getting ready shots; getting the groom's reaction as well as me walking down the aisle, and it would be nice to get the guests enjoying cocktail hour at the same time we’re doing portraits.

I think most of the time having a single shooter is fine, especially if that is typically how the photographer works. If you are nervous about your photographer missing anything, ask them if you can see a full gallery from a wedding they’ve done and look for some of those photos you're worried about missing. As long as it is a fairly experienced photographer and they feel confident shooting your wedding alone, I would trust them.

As for your concerns about cocktail hour, I’d definitely ask the photographer about how they’d handle this. I haven’t ever really had this be a problem. Cocktail hour isn’t really an event you’ll want a ton of pictures from, so they are generally able to capture a few beautiful pictures quickly, while you and your new husband enjoy a few minutes alone after portraits.

You also mentioned that your style preference is the single shooter, but everyone else seems to prefer the two-shooter photographer. I would really encourage you to select the photos you love the most and not worry about the opinions of others. From what you're describing, it seems like maybe the single shooter’s photos might be a little trendier, but I don’t think there is inherently anything wrong with that! These are photos you will be hanging in your home, so pick a photographer you LOVE!

So I am looking at having an adults-only destination wedding in the mountains of Telluride, Colorado summer 2021. Our guests would be coming from all over the mid and northwest (and even some international).

We would have a morning ceremony and brunch reception on a Saturday, but no other formal events during the course of the weekend. What is the General destination wedding etiquette? Would it be rude to have guests travel long distances to only have the ceremony and reception for them to participate in?

While I don’t think that you are under any obligation to entertain guests for the entire time that they are at your destination wedding, I also think you can’t really think about this trip as a vacation on behalf of your guests. They probably wouldn’t be here if not for your wedding, so it’s kind to give them a little guidance on what else they can be doing, so they aren’t just sitting in their hotel room for the rest of their stay. I would encourage you to make a list of local restaurants, shops, and activities that they could try.

Additionally, think about having some more informal events, so people can spend time with you. Since you are having a morning wedding, maybe a dinner that night or meeting up with everyone that evening at a local bar. Even if it’s something super casual, you should take advantage of having all these people from your friends and family in one place.

My wedding budget is 75k. My family and I are paying for everything, my fiancé is planning to chip in but it won’t be very significant (5k) because he’s still quite heavy in debt (we’re both doctors). I can afford this budget, I’m not in debt, with a house, car, healthy income and saving. But my in-laws are shocked when I tell them my venue choice (5 star resort), they don’t tell me to change venue per se but I can sense that they don’t approve of it. So should I cut my budget and compromise?

No. Your fiancé’s family wants you to cut your budget for ego reasons (or at least that’s what it sounds like) and honestly, that is not your responsibility to manage. You’re paying for it, so have your dream wedding day!

I’m sure how to tackle ceremony versus reception-only guests. We only have room for 50 people at our ceremony, but we are inviting more people to come to our reception. If some people can't attend the ceremony, is there a way to invite a reception-only guest to the ceremony without making them feel like a back-up plan?

Honestly, I think it is always incredibly difficult to do a B-list of invitations tastefully. I would advise you not to worry about filling every seat at your ceremony and just invite your original 50 and not bring in back-up guests. I would assume that the 50 people you are inviting to your ceremony are people who are an important part of your life and you’ll probably have very few people decline their invite.

If you are set on filling in their seats, do so with the knowledge that the person you’re inviting will most likely figure out they were a back-up ceremony guest. I’d advise mostly filling in with friends since they tend to be more understanding and less focused on the formal etiquette rules.

Did anyone name their signature drinks after their dog? And if yes did you have a sign made? Need some recommendations/inspiration of where to get a sign made for this!

This is one of my favorite wedding trends right now! I love pets, and I think this is a great way to include them without them being physically present. Here are a few of my favorites!