Wedding Wednesday Q&A #006

We are doing a dessert table with pies, cookies, and mini pastries. My mom thinks we should get a small cake for us to cut and then save for the one year anniversary. Is it weird to serve cake, but only for us? Do we need to stop things to do our cake cutting?

Let’s start by talking about the idea of an anniversary cake. I know that it is a tradition that many people love and if it’s important to you, you should certainly make it a priority. However, in my experience most of the time, after spending a year in your freezer, a cake is freezer burnt and you probably won’t want more than a bite. You probably need to save a small slice, so you might be able to offer some pieces to your guests.

If you do have a cake just for yourselves, people will probably ask about cake for themselves, but they probably will regardless. There are just certain things people expect at weddings and cake is one of them. It’s isn’t a big deal and the dessert table will have something for everyone! You also don’t have to announce the cake cutting and instead just slip away for a moment and cut the cake and get a couple of photos.

I’m thinking of doing my bridesmaids with mixed blues. Can you share some advice and inspiration?

I have a blog post on how to do mismatched bridesmaids dresses well! I love the look and think it’s pretty easy to accomplish. This blog post is full of tips and tricks to make the look cohesive (and even includes an email template to send to your girls!)

Any thoughts on a joint bachelorette party? Since my wedding has been postponed due to corona, my wedding is only a month after my close friend’s wedding (who also had to postpone her date). We have an almost identical friend group, with the exception of my sisters and a few of her friends.

I LOVE the idea of a joint party for the finances of everyone involved. Wedding events can get expensive and I think that next year will probably be a pretty big wedding year, so I’m sure you’re friends will appreciate it. Combining the event would probably allow you to have a bigger event. However, I’d still encourage you to dedicate an evening or event to each of you. Maybe brunch on Saturday is in your honor and Friday is her moment.

My originally planned wedding has been obliterated by Corona and is now nothing like the original, which was already low-key. I also hate having my photo taken and being the center of attention. Yesterday my fiancé surprised me by hiring a wedding photographer for our down-sized wedding day. Any suggestions for navigating this situation?

If you only take one thing away from my response, it is to talk to the photographer before your wedding day!!!! The last thing you want is to meet your photographer on the wedding day. Schedule a FaceTime or a call and chat with them about your goals for the wedding day and get to know them a bit. Since you are worried about getting photos, I’d ask them to document the little moments, rather than focusing on large scale traditional wedding images (aka a lot more candid shots and less staged photos). I’d treat it almost like an engagement shoot. Think of the photos as documenting your relationships, both with your family and friends, as well as your new spouse.

I’m looking for some advice or insight into how the wedding industry pricing works. I’ve seen venues and catering that range from $35,000 to $60,000 and we are currently looking at photographers from $3,500 to $6,000 for similar packages. Is it right to assume that a cheaper photographer would be “less good” than a more expensive option?

Absolutely not! There is no fairy that tells wedding vendors how to price themselves, so pricing is not based on merit. Yes, a photographer or venue that is amazing might be able to justify pricing themselves a little higher, but a really crappy photographer could also charge the same amount.

I think one of the largest contributors to prices is the vendor's experience. Often (but not always) a vendor who has worked for a long time in the same area can price themselves a little higher because there is a consistent demand because other vendors in the area know them. Similarly, a new vendor might have a harder time getting their name out there and price themselves a little lower.

There are a lot of vendors who keep pricers lowers to make sure they are finding the right couples for them. Maybe they like working with mid-range brides, rather than $100,000 weddings. Or maybe a more expensive vendor simply wants to work fewer weddings every year because they have a family. There are so many factors that contribute to price!

A higher price is not an indication of a better vendor. The best way to figure out who's the best fit for you is to meet with the vendors, get recommendations, and look at their work!

If you have any wedding planning questions that you'd like me to tackle in a future Q&A, send me an email at!