Updated: Oct 5
Today's wedding Wednesday Q&A comes to you on a Thursday (I maybe forgot to push publish yesterday, oops!). In this series, I gather questions either sent to me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or questions I find around the internet (like from wedding planning Reddit and wedding Facebook groups) and I answer them! This week we're talking about wedding venues, budget woes, and eloping.
My fiancé and I are beginning to look at wedding venues. Do most venues allow you to come for a casual tour before any kind of commitment to using that venue? I am very indecisive and would like to just get a walking tour of my top 10 favorite venues I’ve seen online before coming back with more serious questions/any kind of commitment, as we are still very early in the planning stages.
Most places will let you tour without a real commitment. However, do be aware that they will be trying to sell you on the place and may even pressure you to sign a contract during your tour.
I’d advise you to narrow down your list a bit more before touring venues. I typically recommend couples visit no more than three to five venues at a time (you can always visit more later if you hate them!). With ten venues, things will start to blend together and it’s hard to remember which ones you liked and why. You don’t need to find the best venue in the world, just a venue you love!
So at first, I couldn’t stop looking for state parks to be married at, for nature and beauty, and simplicity and price. I still love looking at wedding dresses, but I’m thinking about what I’m looking forward to is really marrying my best friend and wedding pictures of us. The more I think of a ceremony the more burnt out I get. The idea sounds nice but When I think of the guest list I get so upset from knowing there will be drama from family, would it be crazy to elope and still get all dressed up and have an actual photographer? I don’t want to regret not having a whole wedding later in life but right now I feel I really don’t want it.
Elope! I love weddings and I do think they are an amazing way to gather your friends in family in one place, but if you aren’t excited about having a wedding I think you should skip it. Especially now with the uncertainty of COVID, I think eloping is a great choice! You can always celebrate with friends and family at a later party!
Now I'm planning a wedding where the baseline is that only 30 people can attend (current UK guidelines). We hope by August next year this will be different, but it's the starting point we have to consider and so we have become a lot more money-conscious (a £12k+ venue for 30 people feels like theft). As such, we've decided to go as COVID-proof as possible, this means a registry office wedding and hiring out a local rugby club function room. Here's my question, can you make a sports club function room look fancy?
Yes and no. The venue is going to be one of the biggest contributors to the visual look of your wedding day. In order to make your space look truly “fancy,” you would probably need to spend a significant chunk of money on rentals, draping, lighting, etc. Since you are trying to make more budget-conscious choices, I’d suggest focusing on lighting. Bring in lots of candles, lanterns, fairy lights, so you can avoid using overhead lighting. A low-lit space is going to read a lot of fancier.
I’m in a lovely relationship, but wedding planning is intense! The wedding costs are getting high and she doesn't have a lot of savings. I have some savings but after this wedding, things are going to be tight. Is it fair that she feels comfortable having me pay for so much of this wedding?
This is a major red flag! Not that the fact that you are paying for a large chunk of the wedding, but the way you are talking about money. Before you spend another penny on wedding costs you need to have a conversation about what you are willing to spend. One of my biggest beliefs with wedding planning is in order to stay on budget, you need to have a budget. It seems like you’re already pretty far into your planning process, so sit down figure out what you’ve already spent and what you are willing to spend moving forward.
I’d also re-evaluate the way you are thinking about and talking about money. No matter how you choose to tackle finances in your marriage, in the eyes of the government, soon this will be both of your money. If you are already feeling resentful about how this money is being spent, you need to have some larger conversations about how you are planning on handling money in your marriage.
I found a venue that I absolutely love, which fits perfectly with the number of guests. The venue owner said normally weddings don't provide seats for everyone. That even if I have 150 guests than 96 seats would work fine. I've never heard of this before. In your experience is this true?
It really depends on the style of wedding you are planning. For a traditional sit-down dinner, you’d be expected to have seats for everyone, because everyone will be in their seats during dinner and toasts. However, if you are planning a wedding where you plan on having food stations throughout the room and don’t expect everyone to be sitting down and eating at the same time, you won’t need a chair for everyone. This style of wedding is especially common in the south!